I know I have been posting a lot lately, but man oh man, have my emotions been at an all-time high. During this time of transition and while experiencing a dramatic shift of energy in my own life (and in the world in general; have you all noticed it, too?), I wanted to share some thoughts with all of you.
In short, I want to remind everyone that we are all worthy of good things: worthy of love, worthy of compassion, worthy of good fortune, etc… This does not change based on your abilities, your talents, etc. No matter where you are in life right now, no matter how good or how “bad” you think you might be at any and every little thing, you are worthy of love and happiness and all the great, surprising wonders this life has to offer. Period.
Moreover, I want to apologize if I’ve ever used my inherent biases as an excuse to treat any of you as if you’re *not* worthy of these good things and amazing gifts. I try to be kind to everyone I encounter, but the last year I know I have not been myself. I am just starting to feel like “Miranda” again, and it’s a good place to be; however, I cannot ignore that I was in a dark place for the larger part of this year, and that it may have affected my outward behavior as well as my inner thoughts, meditations, etc.
Like I said, I am in a much better place right now and I am feeling extremely fortunate, hopeful and gracious lately. I am trying my best to get back to the place where I am a source of light, rather than darkness, for all that I encounter. I am trying my best to shed light on as many as I can, and do as little harm as I’m able, in this precious life.
Finally, I’ve been thinking about what makes someone “important”, especially during the times in this last year in which I felt very, very small and insignificant. I think that I know, though: someone is important when they have made a positive impact, of any kind, on the world and the people and all the living beings around them. I hope that I’ve done that in some small capacity, and that even if no one ever remembers my name in the grand scheme of things, that I somehow will make this place better than it was before my time here. Of course it has always been my dream to be world-renowned somehow, to have a “household name”, so to speak (and I won’t relinquish that dream anytime soon), I am starting to realize that our importance and our worth has so little to do with us and our feelings, but rather with others and how we’ve made them feel. Have we made one another feel worthy and loved? That’s what life should be all about, after all: making one another feel loved, accepted, supported, and worthy of all. the. good. things. like I said above.
As I walk through the streets of Philadelphia this morning, all of this and more courses through my mind. As I watch teenage tourists run amok, smiling and laughing, and mothers with young children hold their toddlers’ hands as they head to school, I remember that life is so, so beautiful. I remember everything I’ve been reminiscing on above. I remember all this, and I hope I don’t soon forget. I hope I soak these feelings and these emotions in every day, every morning, because I’ve ignored them for far too long.
I apologize for writing a novel, but so many of you don’t know how emotionally charged the past year has been for me. Now that I’m finally settling into Philadelphia as my “home”, starting a new job, and finally feeling like “myself” again, I just wanted to catch up with everyone. I wanted to apologize. I wanted to encourage you. I wanted to remind myself that I matter, and that everyone else does, too. I leave you with a lyric that’s been heavy on my mind, lately, and I hope someone who needs to see this today enjoys it as much as I do:
“We’re no better and no worse than the others /
We are all the same.”